Dating hot and
New-relationship sparks send smiles to the face, lightness to the step, and images to the mind about what could be.Thoughts of first, second and third phone calls bring excitement tinged with a little bit of nervousness. But what happens when that new person you’re dating drives you wild—with frustration—by behaving as though they like you sometimes, and other times not at all?You can rest assured that there is something on their mind, but it’s probably not what you would like it to be.The good news is that you don’t really know what that “it” is, so don’t give up hope just yet.
And, although not always voiced directly, each person has their own internal list of absolute must-haves and can’t-stands, and there can sometimes be a feeling of “I like this person, but you know, there a few things here that make me uncomfortable.” These uncomfortable feelings are the key to the hot-and-cold treatment. Any amount of unrequited love becomes a preoccupation that prevents you from being open to meeting new people who could give you exactly what you’re looking for in a relationship.
People are looking for the same thing: someone who fits them really well; someone who makes them happy and who makes life a joy just by being present in their life—that’s what love is.
When searching for that kind of love, many issues come into play that really all just point to timing and selection.
First and foremost, a person must be ready to want to find that kind of love.
For whatever reason—age, life stage, personal obstacles—a person may not be ready yet to welcome the kind of relationship into their life, and that’s okay.“I could have [anyone] I wanted,” says Rochkind, now 40 and an Upper East Sider with a muscular build and a full head of hair.